Since I last wrote I have played seven games, and only won one. I am not exactly happy about it, but it was not quite as bad as it sounds. On Friday I played a good game that I was proud of, leading my game against a strong 5-dan for a long time:

In this position I had the chance to play ”x”, followed by the triangle, when I would lead with about ten points. In the game I kept the lead for a few more moves before he took over, and kept a small lead for the rest of the game. It is the first game I have ever played, where neither player had a lead greater than ten points. (!)

Then came the weekend tournament. I braced myself a bit, knowing that I am significantly worse with shorter time-limits, but I expected to do ok. In the first round I was paired against the same player that I played in the first round of the Main tournament. This time, again, I got a very good position, and although my lead was not quite as big as last time, it was a lead that would have been easy to hold on to, if only I had played a solid move instead of starting a(n unnecessary) ko. I crashed and burned.

Then, in round two of the weekend, I played horribly and could have resigned after only a few moves. I felt the press on the clock and played a sharp move without reading out the consequences properly, leaving me well twenty points behind.

In round three I was out-played by a Chinese kid. I was constantly behind, and at one point I played a big point, leaving a weak group floating in the middle of the board, which he went on to kill efficiently. We played until late in the evening, and there was two more games on the Sunday, so I went to bed early.

On the Sunday I started my game well enough, and it was going my way when I lost my head:

I am playing the white side, and it is my move. In the game I played the horrible, horrible ”A”, defending my group before attack his three lone stones in the center. The second ”horrible” comes from the fact that I do not have to defend my group below if I kill those stones. Instead I should have played ”x”, which makes miai of the two points marked by triangles. Either Black’s three unconnected stones in the center will die, or Black’s four stones to the right. The result would be overwhelming for me.

Then, in the fifth round I finally won. Not a great game, but I did not crash.

In the evening, for the first time, it was not 30 degrees Celsius outdoors, and we could sit in the grass and go though the games. Parts of the Swedish contingent came and went.

Trying to come to an understanding of the corner joseki.

Not everyone could get a grip on the the situation.

Today I played better again, but my opponent was very consistent and fast. I got a decent position, but in the end my lack of time caught up with me, and I went from slightly worse to dying with one of my groups:

I am aiming higher than I did last year, long term, and the main thing for me is to play good games, against strong players, and then get to go thorough them with friends. There are two weaknesses in my game that are a bit mysterious to me. What I mean is, that most weaknesses are easy to pin-point, and can therefore be fixed, but I have two where I don’t even know what they are, ergo the ”mystery”. But, I am starting to sense what it is about, and my two bad losses in the weekend provided further clues. One of the mysteries is also part of my current issues with playing chess. To be continued…